


Lost Stars

by sunlightlix



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I’m soft for Woochan leave me alone, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, based off that time Woojin blessed us by singing lost stars, mentions of changlix, mentions of hyunin, mentions of minsung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-10 15:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18663337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunlightlix/pseuds/sunlightlix
Summary: But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark?Woojin wants Chan to let him in and let him love him but Chan just pushes him away leaving Woojin wondering what he did wrong.





	1. But are we all lost stars

It had been a long day. Training always felt like it was getting harder and harder and Chan knew that better than anyone. _Seven years and still nothing._ All of his friends had debuted, so why hadn’t he? Was he not good enough? But maybe this was finally going to be it, maybe _Stray Kids_ was going to be it.

 

It was late, they were all tired and just wanted to go to sleep. Chan was the last to finally go to bed, he walked into the room he shared with Woojin and Minh- right. It was just him and Woojin now. It hurt to even think about, he had failed. He had let Minho down, he had let Felix down. They are gone now and it’s all his fault.

 

He walked over to his bed averting his eyes from the bunk, he didn’t know if he could look at the empty bed right now. It had been long enough that it shouldn’t hurt anymore but it still did. It hurt everyone, their family was broken.

 

Chan laid there for almost an hour, yet sleep escaped him. He needs the rest he knew that but he couldn’t seem to stop thinking. _I failed. I promised them we would debut together, all nine of us but look at us now. I should have been a better leader I should have-_

 

“Chan?” He heard a small voice coming from the bunk. “Yeah? Why are you still awake?” Woojin needed his rest, he should be asleep. But the later sat up with a soft yet broken smile across his face. Being the oldest he was supposed to be strong but Chan could see right past his bright eyes and see how broken he was feeling. “I was about to ask you the same question.” Chan sighed, he didn’t want to worry the later but they both knew they were worried about each other. “I can’t sleep. Too many thought” Woojin hummed in acknowledgment then went silent again.

 

The silence hung in the room for a second, Chan admired Woojin features. No matter how sad he was one thing would never change, Woojin is the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. Finally, the singer broke the silence “why don’t you come over here and we can listen to music or something till we feel a little more tired.” Woojin lifted the blankets signaling for Chan to join him. Chan was hesitant at first but didn’t really see anything else better to do at the moment so he complied. He creeped over to Woojin’s bed sliding in with the later feeling the brush of his soft pajama pants against his leg. Woojin smiled softly before grabbing his phone and handing Chan one earbud putting the other in his own ear. Chan always thought Woojin had good taste in music, he let himself get a little lost in it while they looked at each other.

 

Woojin frowned “Chan what’s wrong?” He could see the sadness in the younger’s eyes. “Nothing” Woojin gave him a look letting him know that he didn’t believe it, Chan couldn’t hold back his thoughts anymore. “I’m a bad leader Woojin” “what?” He closed his eyes, he couldn’t stand the way Woojin was looking at him with those sad eyes.

 

“I promised that we would all debut together but everything is falling apart. I’m starting to think I’m the problem Woojin. I mean it has been _seven years,_ maybe I just wasn’t meant to debut.” The song changed, Chan didn’t know the name but he recognized. it Woojin was always singing it. “Chan, of course, you were meant to debut. Look at you! Every bone in your body has talent! Don’t blame yourself for Felix and Minho, we still have a chance, miracles happen.”

 

“Do they?” “If you let them.”

 

Woojin smiles again but it was different for Chan. There was something about that smile that made his chest tighter, well tighter than normal. Chan had always been attracted to the elder but just brushed it off, but this was different. The way the moon was reflecting off his skin made it feel like he was seeing Woojin for the first time, and he was more beautiful than ever.

 

“You always know what to say Woojin” Chan tried to laugh off the tension but the later didn’t respond. They just laid there staring at one another, only now realizing how close they were. Their faces were only a few inches apart from where they rested on the pillow. Chan didn’t know why but he got closer. Maybe it was because he was lost in the song or maybe because he was lost in Woojin’s eyes.

 

Woojin moved a little closer as well, Chan could feel his breath on his lips as the later moved a hand to his waist. He had a small reality check as he realized what was happening. He didn’t want it to stop but he knew he should. “Woojin we shouldn’t-” “Chan look at me” Chan brought his eyes to meet Woojin’s again and reality didn’t matter. He listened to words of the song one last time _but are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark_. Finally he closed his eyes as he pressed his lips against Woojin’s.

 

In that moment nothing else mattered. Not his worries, not his thought, only Woojin mattered. The elder pulled him closer bringing his other hand to Chan’s hair. Their lips moved in sync as they laid there, the music had stop but neither cared. The soft kiss deepened as Woojin pulled their earbud out before pulling Chan on top of him. Cupping the elder’s face and kissing him just felt so right. “Woojin” He breathed out against the other’s lips. They had both been wanting this for awhile even though neither would admit it. Woojin pulls at his waist as they fall back Chan still on top of the elder never breaking the kiss.

 

Chan knew that this went against every rule he had ever been taught as a trainee but he wasn’t going to worry about that. All that mattered was that he was here, with Woojin. He could worry about the mistake that this was tomorrow.

 

—

 

Woojin woke up the next morning alone in bed. He wasn’t expecting it to say the least after what had happened the night before. But it didn’t bother him too much, Chan was probably just busy, he normally was.

 

But hours passed, days passed, weeks passed, _months passed_. He never mentioned what happened that night again, it had been almost a year now. They did it they debuted, all nine of them together again. Chan and Woojin were supposed to be the adults and for the most part they were. They took care of the younger members and they supported each other when they needed it but it was different than before. There has been all wall between them ever since that night and it was killing Woojin. What had he done to lose Chan?


	2. trying to light up the dark?

Tonight was like any other night, they had just gotten back from promoting and all went straight to bed, well most did. Woojin went to go get a cup of water only to find Jisung and Minho passed out on the couch wrapped around each other. He smiled walking into the kitchen. As he poured his cup he allowed himself to get a little lost in thought. His brain jumped around from the younger members, tonight’s performance, finally ended on Chan. It always leads back to Chan ever since that night. 

 

The eldest was sure of how he felt and he was so sure that Chan felt the same, he was the one that kissed him after all. He made up his mind in that second, he was no longer going to wait for answers, he was going to find them. 

  
  


Setting down the pitcher he abandoned his glass on the counter making his way down the hall. Quickly he stopped into Felix’s room to see him in Changbin’s arms, he smiled to himself knowing that meant Cham was alone. 

 

Peaking into the younger’s room he saw him sitting on his bed looking at something on his computer. He leaned on the door frame humming a song he thought Chan had long forgotten. Though, Chan’s reaction proved otherwise. His breath hitched hearing the familiar tune as he turned to Woojin.

 

“Hey” “hey” Woojin slid into the room closing the door. “Why are you still up Channie?” “I-I couldn’t sleep. Why are you up?” Woojin sat at the foot of the bed “me neither. Why don’t we listen to some music until we feel tired?” A moment of realization hit Chan as he thought back to night just like this. 

 

“Woojin..” but he didn’t respond, only reached into his pocket grabbing his phone and turning on a familiar playlist. “Why don’t we dance Channie?” The latter closes the lid to Chan’s laptop reaching out his hand to the younger. Thoughts swarmed his head of how bad an idea this was but he still took the hand. With a smile Woojin pulled him close to his chest wrapping his arms around his waist. Chan leaned into the touch placing his arms around Woojin’s neck resting his head on his shoulder. 

 

The two swayed to the music without a sound, they feared talking would ruin it. But Woojin could only stay silent for so long, he had to ask “why did you leave Chris? Why did you leave me after that?” 

 

Chan’s breath hitched at the sound of his real name. The thought of playing dumb crossed his mind but after hearing the hurt in Woojin’s voice he knew it would only cause more damage. 

 

“It’s complicated Bear.” Woojin stopped moving leaning down into the younger’s ear, breath ghosting over his pale skin. 

 

“If you don’t love me back just tell me and I’ll go but I can’t spend another night crying and wondering what I did wrong.” 

 

Chan could hear his heart break into a million little pieces. That was the complete opposite of what he wanted him to think. They had come so far, he couldn’t ruin it now, he could ruin everyone else’s chance. “Woojin…” “it’s ok Chan I understand, I won’t bother you about it again.” 

 

He tries to move away but the younger’s hand pulls them right back together “please let me finish.” Placing his hands back on the younger’s waist he gave a small nod allowing him to continue. 

 

“Ever since that night I can’t get you out of my head no matter how hard I try. I fell hard that night, I fell for you. I fell for your kindness, your calming voice, your soft lips…” he pulls back a little getting Woojin to look him in the eyes, they both moved slightly closer. Was he really going to do this again? Absulty. He missed Woojin so much, he crave his touch. He tried to lean in but Woojin turned his head 

 

“don’t give me false hope if you aren’t sure.”

 

Reality cams crashing right back down, he can’t do this, not to Woojin. “R-right. I’m sorry I shouldn’t do this. I can’t do this to you.” the singer looked back confused “what do you mean?”

 

Chan rested his head on the elder’s shoulder taking in the smell of his sweet colon. “You’ve worked so hard to get where you are. I can’t screw that up for you. What if I screw up and people find out? I can’t ruin everything you’ve worked so hard for. I lo-” taking a deep breath he continued. 

 

“I love you too screw this up for you.”

 

The song changed to something all too familiar to them both. 

 

_ Please don't see just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies. _

 

Woojin had tears forming in his eyes,  _ he said it.  _ “Is that why you left?” He felt a small nod against his shoulder. Time slowed, this was the moment Woojin had been waiting for for almost a year. 

 

“Chan why would you do that to yourself? You worry to much. I mean look at Hyunjin and Jeongin and Changbin and Felix, even Minho and Jisung! They have been just fine at keeping it a secret and they are happy, you deserve to be happy too.” 

 

“It’s different bear” “it’s not and you know it. Please Chris,” he pulled back making Chan look at him in the eye “please let me in.” 

 

The younger tried to smile but tears started streaming down his face. Woojin rushed to wipe them away. Chan buried his face in the elder’s shirt. 

 

_ Please see me reaching out for someone I can't see _

 

“Can you do that Chan? Can you please let yourself be happy?” his nails dug into the singers skin “l-I d-don’t des-serve you.” Placing his hands on the younger’s cheeks he lifts his face so their eyes meet again. Wiping away one of the rapper’s stray tears he smiles “yes you do. You deserve the world, I want you to see that too.” “O-ok.”

 

Finally he pulls his face closer brushing their lips against each other “I love you Chris.” Finally Chan seals their lips together in a much awaited kiss. It was short but everything stop in those few seconds. Woojin moved away stepping back and reaching out his hand to the younger.

 

_ Take my hand let's see where we wake up tomorrow _

 

Chan takes his hand as Woojin pulls him over to the bed the two on them sitting down. He looks at their hand in the elder’s lap a small smile pulling at his lips. His eyes meet Woojin once again, instinctively he moves forward. Woojin’s eyes flutter shut feeling the warm breath on his lips. 

 

“Are you sure this time Chan?”

“More than anything”

 

_ God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young _

 

Chan pushes their lips together with force but it was still soft. If Chan deserved happiness then this was it, Woojin was his happiness. Woojin leaned back pulling Chan to lay on top of him. 

 

Everything was forgotten in those moments. He didn’t think about tomorrow’s rehearsal or the younger members or the glass of water he’d left on the kitchen counter. Only Chan.

 

_ It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run _ _  
_ _ Searching for meaning _

 

After awhile Woojin pulled back “we should sleep.” As much as he didn’t want to he knew the elder was right. Giving a slight nod he rolled over onto the mattress tucking his head under Woojin’s chin. He felt Woojin place a tight hand on his waist, he’s scared of waking up alone again. He connected his lips to the elder’s neck, softly he spoke against his skin.

 

“I’ll be here, I promise.”

 

Woojin’s hand softened as he kissed the younger’s head.

 

“I love you Chan” “I love you too.”

 

He let himself drift off to sleep, knowing Chan was here in his arms, right where he was always meant to be.

 

_ But are we all lost stars, trying to light up the dark? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I was planning on writing this a while ago but thought it was best to post it now since I just got this account and am still trying to figure everything out haha.


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